While talking to a friend who also has a child with Down Syndrome, she shared with me the opportunity to attend a retreat that was 1.5hrs away for a quiet 2hrs of relaxation. Everywhere I turn, I have some kind of message about the importance of “Self-Care” hitting me. This is not something I generally partake in simply because I usually don’t have the luxury of time. Before my eyes was the opportunity to escape for only a little bit and allow my husband to hang with the kids solo. I quickly messaged the host and got myself added to the list last minute.
Not two hours later, I was notified by my friend that she, unfortunately, could no longer go. I understood as I have been in those shoes often. My knee-jerk reaction was to bail as well, but I hesitated because the stars don’t align like this often. I quickly messaged some friends and asked if they wanted to join me. My one friend jumped at the opportunity as well as her universe is just as chaotic as mine.
Off we drove into quiet bliss, or so we thought. We didn’t expect the rerouting of our trip to include winding roads up and over hills. Coupled with my driving, it was a full-on rollercoaster experience. My poor friend’s motion sickness hit her resulting in a reclined seat and open window. I quickly pointed out that I carry barf bags in my center console (hospital grade). Thankfully we arrived at the beautiful rustic barn in the countryside unscathed.
A delicious lunch, presentation by a rheumatologist/integrative medicine specialist about lifestyle and diet and ways to reduce inflammation and stress (this is how you know you are with other moms with kids with special needs), and stations for hair/makeup, yoga, and crafts such as bouquet making, herbal sashes, and essential oils bath salts sat in the middle of an idyllic farm. I made a bouquet to replace my dead sunflower and weeds on my kitchen counter, and a sash for my car with lavender. I was able to connect with other parents walking on similar paths and managed to pack away several lemon cookies that were so good that I could feel the serotonin hits surging in my bloodstream with each bite. The fact that my cellphone was pinging like crazy to reschedule horseback riding lessons for the remainder of the summer and fall didn’t even phase me.
Once home, I opened the fridge to see a lasagna in the fridge my husband had made (eat your hearts out ladies…he cooks), before he left to meet his friends out of town. I thought the day was going to end smoothly with dinner and family movie night. But then…silence. You know the silence I’m talking about if you are any kind of parent. The kind where your stomach drops because you just KNOW…
Off I went to find Josie…Alison’s bedroom door was locked. Josie often likes to chill on Alison’s bed while surfing her iPad photos (one of her favorite things). Why she didn’t tell me where she was though like she normally does when I call her name? I opened the door, and what felt like karma punched me directly in the face. There stood Josie holding a bright pink SHARPIE. Knots in my shoulders immediately popped up.
Within only a few minutes, Josie had managed to color on every dresser drawer, bookshelf, desk, walls, lampshade, bass guitar, amp, closet doors, inside the closet, on the bed, every pillow, the carpet, under the bed on the walls (that took initiative), and stuffed animals. Alison had a friend over and had not seen the scene of destruction. Elizabeth and Marilyn quickly got to work by my side with Magic Erasers. This worked two years prior when a similar situation hit Elizabeth’s room. This time though…it didn’t work! Thanks to Google, I retrieved the rubbing alcohol which I proceeded to dump on nearly everything around me.
Josie was Middle School level grounded. Banished to her room for the night. This of course resulted in her feeling pretty badly about what happened and she started crying. If you have ever heard Josie cry…it is the saddest sound. Alison came upstairs after her friend left to assess the damage. The sound of Josie crying made HER cry. Her room was destroyed and she was crying because her sister was sad.
After shoveling in dinner, Elizabeth and I ran out to feed our friend’s cats while there were away, and to fetch more rubbing alcohol and cotton balls at the store.
At our friend’s house, we dashed inside to feed, water, scoop the cat litter, and give the fur babies some attention. I decided to help with the cat litter so that we could get to the store faster. In the basement, a huge Wolf Spider appeared in what seemed an attempt to scare me to death and feast on my remains. I let out a blood-curdling scream which sent Elizabeth flying up the stairs, leaving me to be feasted upon. Seriously…can the night get any worse? This thing had FUR. I wasn’t sure if my shoe was going to be strong enough to squish something that looked like I could put it on a leash and take it for a walk in the neighborhood. I frantically sent a picture and text to my friend and preceded to STOMP the spider with brute force. This left quite the mess.
Elizabeth and I returned from the store horrified with pictures to share and got back to work on the bedroom. By some miracle, after 5hrs of scrubbing and inhaling rubbing alcohol fumes mixed with Simple Green, Oxy Clean, and Shout, we managed to get the Sharpie out of everything but the lampshade and paintings on the wall. Apart from being a few brain cells lighter, there was a light at the end of the tunnel. At midnight we were finally able to all collapse and go to bed.
By the end of my day of “relaxation”, I felt every knot in my shoulders bulk up reminding me that “there is no rest for the weary”. At the end of the day, I have found that I have the most amazing humans living in my house. Alison didn’t complain once that her room was destroyed, Josie genuinely felt bad for her actions, and Elizabeth and Marilyn stepped up to the plate without even being asked to help. How can I possibly complain about the outcome of that kind of day? Now for my appointment to come for those trigger point injections to release the knots…
